UGH

UGH

Ok, so I didn’t post after my weigh in this week, and why? Because I wasn’t a happy bunny.

I walked miles last week, at least 5 miles a day, which is a lot more than I am used to! I haven’t been taking the car anywhere unless it’s absolutely necessary come rain or shine, and I am enjoying it, but I am gutted that my weigh in on Saturday morning didn’t pan out like I had hoped.

I did lose a thing.  I felt so deflated to see the numbers, I hadn’t expected to lose a lot, but I had expected a loss of some sort.  I have a few theories though, now I’m over my initial freak out.

  • The week before I lost 4lbs, but I wasn’t well – so maybe it wasn’t a true loss, the girl who weighed me said the same – maybe I gained a couple lb back, and lost it again, which is not a bad thing – just one of the perils of being unwell and losing a bunch.
  • I hate WW, I do – I liked it for a few weeks but the App is such a piece of crap.  Everything I search for or scan,  unless it is a generic food just isn’t there.  I was finding it so frustrating – as I walk around tescos trying to scan and it’s not there, so then I try to use the calculator but I have no connection cos for some reason in that particular Tesco it’s a black hole of no phoneness – I want to punch people, but I don’t.  So, I went back to MFP and I am giving that a go, now my WW sub has already been taken out my bank – so I will still go to weigh in, and if it works I may even still keep going cos I kinda like their little shop, and I like being praised for losing weight (when I do.) – so the shift in diets may not have helped – MFP told me I need to eat 1200 – but that is what it generically tells everyone who needs to lose a bunch of weight, so I worked out my TDEE and BMR and I think I have the right number, but I reached out to a friend on MFP to help me, so we will see.

It was just so disheartening.  I am not having a fun time in any way, shape or form in life at the moment and all the walking, the eating well, I thought it would brighten my day – alas it did not, but I shall keep at it.  We shall see what the scales say this week!

Still dying

Still dying

Ok, not dying, but I still can’t breathe properly, have a cough and keep sneezing – but alas I made it to work!  I got a FitBit One yesterday, I decided my Ultra just wasn’t cutting it (I just wanted wireless/bluetooth syncing, sue me) and I was happy to find out I’d banged out 7k steps yesterday, didn’t do much but I am happy with that. 5k is my goal to start with, anything over that I am taking as a bonus!

I have found it to be a LOT more accurate than my vivosmart, so I am happy. I can forgive 10 steps out overall, over 100 steps out for 2 mins of typing!!!  So now I have my motivation tool! YAY!

I am not finding WW very helpful at the minute, I knew this would happen, I need the accountability of going and getting weighed, but the points just do my head in – and their database is just shocking, everything I scanned over the weekend wasn’t in there and I got very frustrated – so for now, I am keeping my membership but I have headed on over to MFP again, that’s how I lost the weight last time – MFP and exercise, this time I just need to stick to it.   We will see come next weekend on weigh in day how I have fared, but I feel I am eating a LOT more – and not unhealthy stuff either, I just feel I get more for Calorie value than I do points, and still keeping within my fat/sodium/carb targets too.

I have a lot of change going on – I am not overly happy at work which I am trying to fix, I have a lot of personal relationship type stuff going on that is really messing with my head at times and I am trying to lose weight, all that on top of having a family at home to take care of – sometimes I just want to run away!  But that won’t solve anything will it.  I’m very tearful a lot, which I guess is hormones and I do not sleep well, so throw tired and emotional into the mix and my life just seems BLEH!

But I am getting there, the 4lb loss last week has motivated me, and hopefully my FitBit will motivate me some more, I need to lose this weight and most importantly I WANT to, for me.

It’s about time I thought about ME.

What WHAT

What WHAT

Just a quick update,  as I’m on my phone.   I feel like ass,  no –  I feel like 1000 rotting asses out in the heat.   I have some kind of cold going on but the flu type where everything aches and hurts and I just want to sit and cry! 

But I hauled ass and went to weigh in today and I’d lost 4lbs!  I haven’t been under eating although I guess maybe I ate a little less than normal on Friday,  but I rounded off the night with 5 choc chip shortbread fingers.

That’s good motivation,  I’ve also dusted off my old fitbit,  but I’m tempted to buy a newer version,  so that might get me moving too.

Have a great Saturday, all.

REBIRTH!

REBIRTH!

Ok, that’s a bit strong. Sorry.

I AM BACK!   I haven’t p0sted for a couple weeks – I have had quite a rough ride in RL the last few weeks and saw myself waving off someone for a few years very close to me – so it’s been a lot of drinking, eating and well not celebrating, but seeing a LOT of people and just basically having a good time.

That being said, I am quite surprised I went to weigh in this week and I had  gained – but only 0.5lb!!! When I say I have been out a lot, I mean A LOT, like meals out every day, drinking every day, and even the night before I must have eaten my weight in burgers – so I am not too unhappy with that!  But now that it’s all over for now – although I am left pretty emotionally distressed by whats going on – I am trying to focus on my weight and exercise now – I am going to dig out my older fitbit and then buy a new one from my WW meeting when I have some spare cash and I intend to try and do my couch to 5k.  It’s a lame excuse but I want to lose a bit of weight first – mainly because my knees are really bad and I get really sore really easily, so if I can shift just half a stone I know I’ll feel a lot better.

I usually come out of WW on a Sat and just got wild – I don’t tend to count my points on a weekend and just think of them as my dailies being used, but I counted them yesterday and OK OK, I spent 11 points on a bottle of wine, but I stuck to them! I was pretty proud of myself, and on Friday I told myself it was a car free day, and I walked everywhere – I had two friends to visit on the opposite sides of town and I walked there! Only a mere 4 miles in total but its more than I usually do.

So anyway, that’s me – I hope I can stick to it this time, I am desperately unhappy with myself and with everything happening like it is in RL day to day life,  I need to focus, hard.