WOOT WOOT!

WOOT WOOT!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Considering I was panicing (again) about the fact I went to the pub on Sunday and ate my weight in waffle and brownie calzone I am OVER THE MOON!!!   It is SUCH a good feeling to know you can have a good time and still pull it right on back.  I have also started running again, I took a week off – I was tired and ratty and I have discovered in life, if nothing else, it pays to step back if you are not enjoying something and start it again when you feel better – back on the treadmill Monday and LOVED IT.  That much that I signed up and the eldest up for the Colour Run next June! MADNESS!!  But by that time I hope to be able to run 5k without dying,  it is a surprise on the C25k (yeah I dropped the 10k one I was pushing there tbh) when you go from walking/jogging in repetitions of 90 seconds and on week three BOOM 90 jogging, 90 walking, THREE MINUTES jogging, three minutes walking – twice.  THREE MINUTES!

Probably loads of fit ppl reading this going HA! THREE MINUTES! but for a flabby girl with bad knees and a hate for moving faster than 4km an hour unless there is a cake dangling from a string, its TOUGH. But I did it, I  reached out twice to knock it down from 6kmph but I didn’t, I did the full 3 minutes twice without giving in.

So to me, that is a gold star and a HALF!  So last night was a really nice surprise to top off a really stressful day, really nice!

I have been trying to sleep better too, I have got into a pattern of bed between 12-1am and up again between 6-7am and it was killing me, I’ve been in bed by 11pm the last few nights,  and not waking til 7am and slowly I am feeling more human, so sleep definitely is not for the weak, it’s for the sensible.  Although I do fear I am becoming a nan – I have a new found love of beetroot,  cardigans and the urge to learn crochet.

GET OFF MY LAWN!

Advertisements
HEY YOU GUISSEEEE!

HEY YOU GUISSEEEE!

I AM SO HAPPY!   I really didn’t think I would have lost this week, I was expecting another maintain week, as I had my daughters party at which I hoovered up Pizza, Sausages and Cake like nobody’s business!  But I think what I have learnt all these weeks now, is that you can have a bit of what you want, if you just don’t go full force mental all week with it.  One day straying a bit off plan isn’t the end of the world, you CAN still lose weight, as long as you remain calm and sensible the rest of the time, and that pleases me greatly.

I have been reading a lot lately about people who have had gastric bands, or bypasses, or are doing the 5:2, or the Cambridge Diet, or even pills.. and I have seen quite a bit of resentment towards people who manage to do it without any of those things, and enjoy it, and it’s really weird.     I haven’t gone on any crazy purges (which I did used to have an issue with), I haven’t had anything fitted, or removed, I haven’t cut everything out of my diet in a bid to lose weight, but that’s whats worked for me.  I am happy with the way I am doing it, and I wouldn’t want to do it any other way.

It all comes back to what I have said before, it doesn’t feel like a diet, it’s a lifestyle change.  I admit I used to hate the idea of eating salad or carrot sticks and houmous for lunch or adding beetroot to things cos EW to all those things.  But now? Now I bloody love those things! Not because I HAVE to, but because I actually enjoy it!  Is it because I am seeing a loss in my weight and a raise in how healthy I feel?? Who knows, but I am seeing it as a blessing.

I am also seeing a lot of fat shaming things, and I am fat, I haven’t always been, but I love food that is bad for me and I hate exercise, so I only have myself to blame. I am trying to be less fat for my confidence, my health and for ME, not for anybody else.  I would never fat shame anyone, I might try and help people who have EXPRESSED they want help with losing weight, by just talking about how I have done it and I am by NO means an expert at all, but I can just say well I do this! and that! and it works –  but the shoe also fits the other foot.  People do “weight loss shame” too,  everyone I have encountered personally have been SO supportive of me, congratulating me, egging me on, telling me to keep with it – but I do read a lot of stuff where people seem negative and jealous that people are doing well, or making a change in their lives.  I guess maybe sometimes people that are losing/have lost weight may come across as condescending, and I do hope I never com across like that – but I think a majority of us are just like OMG YAY ITS WORKING WOOO!  But don’t think that it doesn’t happen the other way around, it does.

There is no shame in being proud of your size, or wanting to be smaller, it’s what works for YOU, yourself – not everyone else.

That being said I do get frustrated when people do not help themselves, do not be surprised if you come to me for advice or help and you are going to ignore every single word I say to you, that I either stop helping you, or want to punch you in teh face.   I get not everything works for everyone, but if you truly want to do it, then commit.  That was always my issue, I couldn’t keep it up, but so far I have lost more than I have on ANY other diet, without feeling on a diet, so I am truly committed.  I am even doing my C210K and I really didnt’ want to the other night, but knew if I didn’t do it one night, I would make excuses for the others and it would snowball and eventually, I’d end up back in the same loop of weight loss then weight gain, and being sad and depressed about my weight again.

Just do your thing, and respect others doing theirs, whatever it is.