IT’S A PRE CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!  Ok, so I wasn’t THAT bad last week, I didn’t eat tons of crap, but I did down some booze on Saturday and like I said earlier, hoovered up around the kids food Sunday, but I was expecting a small gain, I was hopeful for a maintain! This little half a pound has really made me chuffed to bits!   I am so determined to get more next week, obviously.   I have 2.5lbs to go to my first stone, and it’s only week 6!! I am so happy right now! 😀

Wobbly Wagon! HALP!

Wobbly Wagon! HALP!

Ugh.  I feel poop today, and it is all my own doing.   I went out on Saturday night for the first time since I started Slimming World again, and while I did not order a kebab at 1am, or eat a 12″ meat laden pizza, I did down a drink or two.  Now, that shouldn’t have affected me much and tbh it didn’t. I made sure I ate before I went out, so the drink didn’t even touch the sides, and I stuck to one kind, and also kept up with the water in between too.  It wasn’t a riotous night, just a few girls catching up, it was fun! I had a great time.

Now, yesterday it all fell apart. I wasn’t hungover in the slightest, but I was really tired, and tired = lazy.  I started off well! Muller Light and cuppa charrrrr, I didn’t really do lunch as I wasn’t hungry.. and I had a bacon/heck sausage toastie on HExB for Tea..   The kids ordered out for Pizza, I didn’t even think of ordering a thing, but of course then it hit me. THE MUNCHIES. I hoovered up bits of pizza they left, then I ate about 10 marshmallows, then one of them had a bowl of creamy rice pudding and decided she didn’t want it so I had it, oh my god it tasted SOOOOOoooOOOO good, but I knew I’d regret it, and I do.

I hopped on the scales (which I know is not helpful) this AM and was like NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I think I’ll be lucky if I maintain this week, I expect to gain, only a small one, but I do and I want to kick myself.  I had been so upbeat about the diet, so happy doing it! Didn’t even FEEL like a diet, but it all sort of just fell apart a little bit for an hour or so!  Now, I am not going to turn a bad night into a bad week, I am straight back on plan today, but there is a voice niggling saying “what’s the point, eat what you want! – HAVE MORE RICE PUDDING!” but I know it’s because I am tired and disappointed in myself. We all faulter, I know that, but meh! TUT!

I am just so tired! I feel I need so much more energy just to focus, I’ve been ignoring it and just ploughing forward trying my best.  Maybe I need to  change it up a little.  I quite often do not eat my syns at all, not even 1 – this is because the food I have fills me up and it’s free!  The first few weeks as I said in my last post I think I tried harder to make sure I ate at least 5 a day, so I had little treats, did eat some syns, but also filled up on the free goodies, so in todays lunch I added a packet of Hula Pufts! 3.5 each, it’s a start! I’m sure I’ll have a few with dinner too!

I am also going to start physically writing my food down, I do use the online thing but if I’m on my phone sometimes it’s a faff and I think oh i’ll do it later, then I forget.  So keeping it written down will help me stay focused.

I blame all of this entirely on Monday, even though it happened over the weekend, the dreaded monday woe kicked in early! DAMN!

Weigh in – Week 5!

Weigh in – Week 5!

So i’ve been on teh diet 5 weeks now! Is it for weeks? I’ve had 6 weigh ins so I guess yes, 5 weeks following the diet.

1lb loss this week! I can’t say I am thrilled, but I know that any loss is a loss, huge or not, and that takes my total to 11lbs lost in those 5 weeks now! So thats not so bad. I shouldn’t  complain!   I am going to go back to basics a bit this week, I’ve been trying new recipes which are great and it’s good to do, but I get so bogged down with trying new things that I sometimes let my eating habits slip.  I don’t eat over my syns or anything, but if I’m spending hours perfecting a bake, or trying something new, I get tired and i’m like MEH when it comes to eating, whereas the first week I was stuffing my face with chicken laden jacket potatoes and salad and loving it AND losing lots more weight, so I’m going to get back a bit more to that, just see how it goes!

We had a taster night at group, I made speed soup which NOBODY tried, BOO!  But that’s ok, my mum took it home for the week lol.   I tried some bits and bobs, some I didn’t care for, but there was a lovely weetabix/scan bran chocolate cake!   I haven’t tried that yet, but to be honest I am not a hugely sweet toothed person, I do love to partake in cake,  but savoury is my downfall.  If it’s hot and pizza shaped and filled with cheese, I am there.  If it’s a massive pack of salty crisps, I’ll have two!  Cakes I can take or leave, which is ironic as that’s what I’ve been trying to recreate on SW!  Although I did make my own crisps and they were delicious, I needed them a bit thinner tho so I went out and bought a Mandoline. HURRAH!

So here starts another week. I did get in last night after a syn free day and enjoy about 20 syns of carby pretzel goodness (I spotted the red cheese and onion ones in Waitrose and I couldn’t say no!) but I always tend to use weigh in night as a free night, I eat light in the day, treat myself at night and then BAM Wednesday morning back on track!

So yeah, happy days.  Sorta.

It’s not a diet…

It’s not a diet…

.. it’s a lifestyle change.

I have seen people say that and scoffed at it, SURREEEE, SUREEEEEE! Chinny reckonnnnnn.  But I am finally seeing what they mean.  There are a few people that rib me about my food choices now “that can’t be filling”, “I’d rather eat what I want”, “I bet you spend loads more on food now”, “I lost 9lbs my first week of dieting and I gave up on the first morning and ate what I want – LOL”.  SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

I mean I can take peoples opinions, and I can take their ribbing, but I do get frustrated when it’s just sooo far from the truth, or just really #irritating (some ppl will know what I mean!).

I struggle with my weight, I wish I was as fat as I was when I thought I was fat at 21.  OH YES.  But I am not, I have let the excuse of having kids, and finding a love for pizza, and chelsea buns.. and drinking like I am a fish get to me, and my body.   I hate exercise, HATE IT, in every form (well,  most) – and I am not one for eating ridiculously healthy foods.  But since being on Slimming World I have tried to embrace the healthier side of life more.   I wouldn’t have touched Houmous with a barge pole 6 months ago, now I adore it for lunch with oodles of carrot sticks and it’s surprisingly filling!   I wouldn’t have ever put beetroot in a cake to try and make it a tad better, or made my own Jaffa Cakes for fun using oats and a mullerlight, but I am not doing these things because I feel I have to, I am doing them because I am enjoying it.

I wish I could roll out of bed and lose 9lbs without trying, but I don’t mind trying different things like this to try and get it off, and keep it off.  I am not spending loads more on shopping – I am spending more on the right things like fruit, veg and meat instead of crisps and booze, so I may spend a tad more, but I waste a LOT less, I’ve become a lot more conscious that I have meat in the fridge that needs using instead of grabbing a ready meal, or a bag of potatoes sitting there instead of ordering a pizza, or going to McD’s.   It may take me more time to prep food too, but its so much more filling than 3 packets of crisps and a can of coke.

I have cut down on my coffee and upped my tea intake, I have bought fruit tea by the bucket load and I am LOVING it, it’s a good way to get water in too, I get so bored of water.  I went to Starbucks and chose FRUIT instead of a Cheese and Marmite Panini, I have become one of those people, but I’m ok with it.

This is week 5 of my SW adventure (for the 2nd time) and I’m already 10lbs down.  I have many lbs to go and I do feel I am going to lose one week, maintain the next, lose the next etc.. which I don’t want to do, I need to see it going or I start to wobble.  But I didn’t the week before last when I maintained, I picked myself up and carried on, and that’s what I’ll do every week if I don’t lose.

So it’s not so much a diet in my head, I don’t feel like I am cutting everything out, I am just making wiser choices.  I still eat chocolate, I just take more care about how much.  I have a mini Fudge in my lunch today instead of a full size.   I still eat crisps, I just make my own.   I haven’t cut anything out, I am just more aware of the foods that help me lose weight vs the ones that seem to make me heavier.

So, take your I lost 9lb in a week without trying and shove it up yer bum!  Take your comments about my food bills raising sky high and read my receipts and weep!  My food might not be a butter laden PB&J sandwich with a Twirl and fat Coke for lunch, but my carrot sticks fill me up just fine thanks!

Week 3!

Week 3!

I am not very happy with this, but not unhappy either.  Last week I went out a few times, I managed to have half a cheese and tomato pizza at the tattoo convention, 2 cocktails during happy hour at Frankie and Bennys, and I also took the kids to BK and had Chicken Fries and some Mozzarella dippers, oh and I absent mindedly swept a snack pork pie into my mouth that the small child left on her plate, so I cannot and should not grumble!   I made the choices, I need to suck it up!  It could have been worse.

Determined to get back on it tho, tracking properly again on the website, I bought a lovely diary to fill out but unless I carry it around I forget, but I aim to log it SOMEWHERE.   I already messed up today thinking 2 Slimming World bars were my HExB, turns out I was only allowed one, so that’s 6 syns down already, just goes to show you need to be so vigilant!   Everyone always says oh i don’t want to follow a diet I just want to eat better, which essentially happens when you do Slimming World, I don’t feel like I am missing out or it’s a massive trauma that I need special food for, I just need to remember I can’t shovel it all in, well I can, but I will have to suck up any gains 😛

I also decided today I want to be a runner, yes, I want to be one of THOSE ppl.   I see ppl on my FB running and getting medals and I’m like I WANT A DAMN MEDAL, MAN!  So I am going to look into getting a treadmill cos running in public? LOLNOTRIGHTNOWLOL.  And I am going to do my C25k, up it to C210k once i’m a bit fitter then start actually entering races and shit, well not races, I don’t want to WIN, I just want to finish.