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WOOT WOOT!

WOOT WOOT!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Considering I was panicing (again) about the fact I went to the pub on Sunday and ate my weight in waffle and brownie calzone I am OVER THE MOON!!!   It is SUCH a good feeling to know you can have a good time and still pull it right on back.  I have also started running again, I took a week off – I was tired and ratty and I have discovered in life, if nothing else, it pays to step back if you are not enjoying something and start it again when you feel better – back on the treadmill Monday and LOVED IT.  That much that I signed up and the eldest up for the Colour Run next June! MADNESS!!  But by that time I hope to be able to run 5k without dying,  it is a surprise on the C25k (yeah I dropped the 10k one I was pushing there tbh) when you go from walking/jogging in repetitions of 90 seconds and on week three BOOM 90 jogging, 90 walking, THREE MINUTES jogging, three minutes walking – twice.  THREE MINUTES!

Probably loads of fit ppl reading this going HA! THREE MINUTES! but for a flabby girl with bad knees and a hate for moving faster than 4km an hour unless there is a cake dangling from a string, its TOUGH. But I did it, I  reached out twice to knock it down from 6kmph but I didn’t, I did the full 3 minutes twice without giving in.

So to me, that is a gold star and a HALF!  So last night was a really nice surprise to top off a really stressful day, really nice!

I have been trying to sleep better too, I have got into a pattern of bed between 12-1am and up again between 6-7am and it was killing me, I’ve been in bed by 11pm the last few nights,  and not waking til 7am and slowly I am feeling more human, so sleep definitely is not for the weak, it’s for the sensible.  Although I do fear I am becoming a nan – I have a new found love of beetroot,  cardigans and the urge to learn crochet.

GET OFF MY LAWN!

WELL!

WELL!

Well!  A little gain, but I am ok with it!

Yep, but some absolute miracle I only gained 0.5lbs!  Not too shabby, and I didn’t do my entire C210K last week either because I wasn’t feeling so hot, so I guess maybe if I had have done that as normal I may have had a maintain.  Weird to think of being chuffed about a gain, but I am not chuffed I gained, I am happy to have not gained MORE!

Back on it like a car bonnet this am, although I do need to mix it up a bit, I am getting bored with the same old food all the time, so I have to look up some recipes, get some new ideas, sort out my life so I have time to fit in all the things I want to do, it’ll be ok!

YAY!

Countdown

Countdown

Here we are, it’s weigh day and I know, I don’t think, I KNOW I have gained this week and I am dreading it.

Sounds stupid doesn’t it? You drink a bottle of port then eat like 4 BP garage sandwiches with the meal deal crisps, a mcd’s large meal and then some fried chicken at night you know you’re gonna gain weight, but at the TIME you feel like death so you just don’t care.  Salad isn’t your friend with a hangover, everyone knows that.

But I also haven’t done the start of my C210K running this week yet either, and I feel guilty!  It’s only myself that I am letting down here so I need to build a bridge and job on over it, but I usually do Mon/Weds/Fri – but yesterday I felt like so much ass, today I feel like a bit more ass.  I think I’m getting a cold, there is a nasty virus floating about work so it’s no surprise but this also leads us to NOPESVILLE – when I am ill I do one of two things – eat nothing OR eat everything.  After my weekend of rampaging on food and booze I think I’m in an eat everything mood. NONONO! I CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

I was moaning about it to anyone that would listen and everyone has said the same thing – since being on SW I have lost or maintained EVERY week – if (when) I gain this week then there are a few things to remember:

1.  I will know WHY I gained, because I was a lardo.

2. It will come off again.

3. You’re allowed to fall off the wagon at times, you’re only human.

4. It is NOT the end of the world, it’s a blip – a bad week, don’t let it get you down.

I am not one to blow my own trumpet but I have done well, maybe not as well as I could have done, but I’ve lived whilst eating better, had my slice of pizza and lost, so I know it can be done.  This weekend I wasn’t balanced, that’s my own fault, but it’s ok! ITS OK!

But for the first week ever I am not looking forward to weigh in, but then I am not feeling well either. I considered not going but like I said a few posts back, that helps nothing, the best thing to do when lying in a pool of drool and disappointment after falling off the wagon – is to get right back on it.

It’ll be a gut punch to have to put a + next to my pic this week tho!  I did have a lovely time in London, but next time I think my need to please the scales may outweigh the desire to nod off in a drunken stupor after planting mini burgers on my friend as she’s sleeping.

FOR SURE.

HEY YOU GUISSEEEE!

HEY YOU GUISSEEEE!

I AM SO HAPPY!   I really didn’t think I would have lost this week, I was expecting another maintain week, as I had my daughters party at which I hoovered up Pizza, Sausages and Cake like nobody’s business!  But I think what I have learnt all these weeks now, is that you can have a bit of what you want, if you just don’t go full force mental all week with it.  One day straying a bit off plan isn’t the end of the world, you CAN still lose weight, as long as you remain calm and sensible the rest of the time, and that pleases me greatly.

I have been reading a lot lately about people who have had gastric bands, or bypasses, or are doing the 5:2, or the Cambridge Diet, or even pills.. and I have seen quite a bit of resentment towards people who manage to do it without any of those things, and enjoy it, and it’s really weird.     I haven’t gone on any crazy purges (which I did used to have an issue with), I haven’t had anything fitted, or removed, I haven’t cut everything out of my diet in a bid to lose weight, but that’s whats worked for me.  I am happy with the way I am doing it, and I wouldn’t want to do it any other way.

It all comes back to what I have said before, it doesn’t feel like a diet, it’s a lifestyle change.  I admit I used to hate the idea of eating salad or carrot sticks and houmous for lunch or adding beetroot to things cos EW to all those things.  But now? Now I bloody love those things! Not because I HAVE to, but because I actually enjoy it!  Is it because I am seeing a loss in my weight and a raise in how healthy I feel?? Who knows, but I am seeing it as a blessing.

I am also seeing a lot of fat shaming things, and I am fat, I haven’t always been, but I love food that is bad for me and I hate exercise, so I only have myself to blame. I am trying to be less fat for my confidence, my health and for ME, not for anybody else.  I would never fat shame anyone, I might try and help people who have EXPRESSED they want help with losing weight, by just talking about how I have done it and I am by NO means an expert at all, but I can just say well I do this! and that! and it works –  but the shoe also fits the other foot.  People do “weight loss shame” too,  everyone I have encountered personally have been SO supportive of me, congratulating me, egging me on, telling me to keep with it – but I do read a lot of stuff where people seem negative and jealous that people are doing well, or making a change in their lives.  I guess maybe sometimes people that are losing/have lost weight may come across as condescending, and I do hope I never com across like that – but I think a majority of us are just like OMG YAY ITS WORKING WOOO!  But don’t think that it doesn’t happen the other way around, it does.

There is no shame in being proud of your size, or wanting to be smaller, it’s what works for YOU, yourself – not everyone else.

That being said I do get frustrated when people do not help themselves, do not be surprised if you come to me for advice or help and you are going to ignore every single word I say to you, that I either stop helping you, or want to punch you in teh face.   I get not everything works for everyone, but if you truly want to do it, then commit.  That was always my issue, I couldn’t keep it up, but so far I have lost more than I have on ANY other diet, without feeling on a diet, so I am truly committed.  I am even doing my C210K and I really didnt’ want to the other night, but knew if I didn’t do it one night, I would make excuses for the others and it would snowball and eventually, I’d end up back in the same loop of weight loss then weight gain, and being sad and depressed about my weight again.

Just do your thing, and respect others doing theirs, whatever it is.

CHRISTMAS!

CHRISTMAS!

HOHOHO! I love Christmas!   I am not one to overindulge in chocolates (hahaha yes I am! – although I prefer to stack them, just ask my friends, it’s nigh on impossible to stack those sodding purple ones!), I don’t like Christmas Cake or Pudding, and I only really took to Minces Pies in the last 2 years and I can still take them or leave them, but I AM a sucker for Christmas Dinner.  GOOD NEWS THO!  On SW most of Christmas Dinner is FREE (if cooked right) and I am soo so sosososososo looking forward to mine this year.

It does, however, mean… SOCIAL NIGHTMARES.   I have invites to 2 work meals as of now, one I have declined and the other I am organising.  I chose us a nice rural pub setting with an abundance of choices on the menu and as of 10 minutes ago I have chosen to have a Salmon and Prawn Roulade for Starter, followed by Traditional Turkey for Main!  I have avoided choosing or opting to have a pudding so far, none of them really tickle my fancy and I am, right now, in the spirit of behaving.

I am on a health kick at the minute and drinking isn’t on my radar – for a few reasons really. 1) I don’t like getting drunk and feeling like a complete prat 2) it’s not good for you on this diet, moderation is definitely key and I am happy with one tipple, then on to soft drinks, if I must! 3) it’s expensive, and I have better things I can be buying 4) I think I’m over the drinking phase of my life – special occasions yes!  day to day drinking? not so much.

That being said I am looking forward to a weekend away soon with my friends!  Bumder-day is approaching and usually we end up with some babybels and a bottle of Port of which I drink a pint of, as it’s the traditional Christmas challenge! (by tradition, I mean ours and by ours I mean mostly mine – Lolly did it twice but I think shes not allowed any more, and doesn’t want to die or lose her liver – BAH!) and I am going to enjoy myself immensely! I am going to be sensible tho.

Drinking hasn’t proved a problem for me so far, I haven’t missed it, I feel better for it, I am better off money wise, and when I have been in the situation to drink I’ve gone for a vodka and diet coke, no bloaty beer or sugar laden alchopops, and wine just turns me into a nutter, or a asleep… swings and roundabouts.

I bet I sound like a right bore now!  But I am so motivated, I am tired and I am weary and I have a lot of stuff going on in my personal life that I want to smack myself in the head for, but I am in control of this and I feel good for making plans to continue, and after the small victory of no gain last night, I needed to pat myself on the back a bit, so thought i’d write it down!

A sight for sore eyes

A sight for sore eyes

This morning I got on the scales, which I told myself I would not do anymore, but the pull is too strong at times! Weigh day is tomorrow so anything could happen between now and then.

I have 2.5lbs to go to get my 1st Stone Award! I think I’ll be around half an lb off of getting it this week, but at least its achievable for the week after, huh! ANYWAY! I got on the scales this morning and yeah ok fresh from having my morning toilet break and not having eaten since 7pm the night before, but I was BELOW the target for my stone! I am ok with it taking another 2 weeks to get there, rather than starve myself to get there quicker, but I was overwhelmingly happy to see a number on the scales that I haven’t seen in a LONG time. If I keep on going as I am doing and fall into the next St bracket down I will be in a bracket I haven’t seen in ages.

I am so happy about this!!! It really has been so much easier this time around, not sure if its because I am more determined, or that I’ve grown up a little since the last time I tried SW and I no longer really go out and drink, and I can’t afford 5050493 takeaways a week (or at least that’s what I tell my kids) so maybe thats why I am finding it easier, I am sure I won’t once I start to plateau, but I haven’t even been disheartened when I’ve only lost 0.5lbs, I was a bit when I maintained but I didn’t give up like I previously would have done, I picked myself up and tried again.

It’s not a diet, its a lifestyle change. I don’t go without, infact I had a whole slice of homemade whipped cream filled victoria sponge at a friends last week with coffee, and I did feel a twinge of UH OH scales will kill me, but I wanted it, and tbh it would have been rude not to! 😛